Graduation Day

Well I started spotting again last night, now it seems gone again. But I had an appt with Dr. Mac today anyway. All was well!!! We're still measuring right on track, and the heart rate is up to 170. They still can't see any reason for the bleeding, but they blame my cervix and all of the stretching that's starting (my abs are sore!). Not to mention, duh, I'm on a blood thinner, so a tiny bleed would even make it down to the toilet paper!

I just sent Patrick to scan the pic, so hopefully he'll send it to me this evening.

So I graduated from Dr. Mac's today. I hugged everyone, and they were all very excited to see me get out of there for once! Terri gave me a lecture on staying calm and not stressing. Dr. Mac said I should just have a glass of wine or two when I feel anxious. Patrick was like "yeah right! She's neurotic". Yes, it's true I won't even eat peanuts....and I SO want some peanut butter....

Anyway, I called my ob's office, and they tried to say they couldn't see me for 2 weeks, to which I said I would panic by then. : ) So they're squeezing me in on Wednesday. I just want to get in to talk to Dr. Swaim, see what she thinks, and see if she'll approve my prescription for a doppler heartrate monitor. We decided to go ahead and get one. The spotting scare sealed it for us...

So now what?

I was talking to my friend Jenn, and I told her I don't know what to do now. I know what to do when things go wrong. I know how to prepare for that. But what do I do now? How do I have faith that things will continue to go well? How do I stop waiting for the bottom to fall out?

Only time will tell I guess. I think getting past 9.5 weeks will be key. I think getting that doppler and the reassurance that things are okay will help. But at some point, I'm just going to have to start believing that this is really my time...

Here's today pic