Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Could this be it?

Things are going well....really well, I'm kind of freaking out.
First, the betas...
I had one with Dr. Mac on Monday at 16dpo. Hcg = 560, Progesterone = 53 !!!
I cheated and had them run one in our lab downstairs today at 18dpo and hcg was 2047 ....Patrick keeps asking about twins! We'd totally take them!

My numbers are excellent...better than they've ever been.

One more important thing...on Monday, I started having this feeling about heparin. That maybe I just needed to ask them if we'd considered it. It's the only thing we're not trying this time, and if I lost this one, that's what they'd add next time. I just kept thinking that I needed to at least bring it up. I called Terri Tuesday morning, and 30 minutes later she called back. Dr. Mac reviewed my history again and said that other dr.s would probably go ahead and treat with heparin. He said it wouldn't hurt, and if I was up for it, we should go for it. So this morning, I picked up my heparin, and Kara showed me how to give myself the shot...I get to fill the needle and everything, which of course, I think is fun because I'm a nerd. : ) So 10 pills every night, a pill up you-know-where twice a day, what's a shot in the stomach once a day right? ; )

I just didn't want to look back a month from now facing another loss and wondering "what if".
Now, especially with the amazing beta today, I know that I'm an doing everything in my power to make this work. Maybe God put that heparin idea into my head for a reason...and now I'll leave it in his hands...for once...and try to enjoy this.

I go back on Monday for more bloodwork with Dr. Mac.

Monday, November 27, 2006


Well, I got my beta results late Tuesday afternoon, and I haven't really been able to focus since. My beta was a 9 at 10 days past ovulation (with 32.2 for progesterone). It's very low, but it's positive. From everything I've read and heard, it seems perfectly reasonable for 10dpo (when some people haven't even implanted yet). Throughout the holiday weekend, I continued to take HPTs. One Wed morning, the lightest line in the world, Thursday was darker, Friday darker, Saturday even darker, and Sunday way dark. On Saturday, I even decided to take a digital. It said "pregnant" in less than 30 seconds. I think I'm done taking HPTs now. ; )

So today I go for a repeat beta. I'm hoping for great numbers. Terri at Dr. Mac's had said we want to see over 100, but I want to see over 200. I also want to see a great progesterone number....

So I'm on the rollercoaster again, and so grateful to be here!

Tuesday, November 21, 2006


It's only 10dpo, but I went for my beta this morning. The office is closed the rest of the week, and they all wanted to know before the holidays. Theoretically, we should see something, mind you, it might be a beta of 7!

I'm pretty pessimistic right now. Two days ago I was convinced this was it! But since last night, the pessimism and reality of it all has set in. I think it's just a defense mechanism, but I've been pretty glum today. It's hard to put all that hope into that one little vial of blood. I just feel like I'm going to disappoint everyone yet again today...

So I wait...

Monday, November 13, 2006

The Courage to Believe Again...

Well, here I am...hopeful again in the middle of the prettiest cycle I've had in almost 3 years of trying. Femara is WONDERFUL!! It turned me into a normal girl!

On my cd 13 ultrasound, they found one beautiful juicy 20mm follicle and a luscious lining of 8.2mm. My body was ready! We triggered last Thursday...were "busy" Thurs-Sat, and now we wait...

It's hard to think about the possibilities. We've only had maybe 3 good chances this whole year (I was pregnant this time last year). People like me wait for even the opportunity to have a cycle where they might get pregnant...and here it is.

So we wait...and we hope.