Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Hell week

Please, please let this round of bad luck be over! I won't call last week the worst week ever...but I will say that it was a really, really, annoying, no good week. Let's see.

* Patrick broke his ankle in our soccer game, but thankfully he can walk with a brace and is still able to do things for himself.
* His starting setter on his volleyball team dislocated her kneecap and is out for the rest of the season.
* One of the girls he used to coach with was in a horrible car accident, and while thankfully she will fully recover, went through the windshield and broke her neck among other things.
* One of my co-workers is accidentally pregnant (she's getting married in May) and is leaning on me heavily for support (she wasn't ready, didn't know if she wanted kids, is upset her dream wedding is ruined, but is also concerned about some cramping/spotting she's been having). Thankfully I've never shown her how much it upsets me, and she has been wonderful enough to let me know that she knows this is hard for me, but that she just needed me.
* Apparently, we're not as financially stable as I thought we were....stems from Patrick being unable to tell me "no" given all that has happened the past year and a half...had I known this I certainly wouldn't have gone on a shopping spree at Ann Taylor Loft last week!
* And the capper of the week...all the stress over all of this managed to give me my first yeast infection in 7 years...lovely. Although it seems there have been major medical advancements during this time, and all I had to do was take a single pill...at least something was easy!

So I'm really hoping that we're turning a corner and that we had to get all this bad luck out of the way to move forward!
I'm currently waiting on my period, and when it shows, off I go for my cd 3 ultrasound...if I get the green light, we've all decided (me, Patrick, Terri, Dr. Mac) that we're doing 5 mgs of Femara. The starting dose is generally 2.5mgs, so I'm happy to start at a middle dose. Not to mention, all the research I've done is suggesting that this may work MUCH better for me than Clomid. Clomid dries up your fertile cervical mucus...and I've always had a problem with that because of the LEEP procedure I had on my cervix 10 years ago. Clomid also thins the uterine lining...and I've got issues with that given the surgery to remove my uterine septum. SO...Femara does none of that, and it just seems like it might be the perfect fit for me.

So I guess I should stop pouting and start taking all my meds again to get my body ready!

Friday, October 06, 2006

Natural Selection is dead...

No response to 100mgs Clomid....wtf?

I was pretty upset on Monday....but Happy Hour and a serious heart-to-heart with Patrick made it all better. I'm okay. Frustrated, not sure what to do next, but okay.

Sounds like we might try to up it to 150mgs for a cycle...and then we'll see where to go from there. They're talking about a new drug...Femara...could be the key. Or we'll be looking at injectables.

I was feeling very broken, but Patrick was great to remind me that this is only one tiny piece of our lives...I need to approach it that way, as a side project. And so far, that's going well.

I have decided however that Natural Selection is dead...no more survival of the fittest. Patrick and I are stronger, faster, smarter than these people we see trying to get 5 kids into a minivan at McDonald's...but we can't seem to do this. How is that supposed to make sense to this scientist? I understand that I have issues, but why so many? Why us? Why wouldn't the world want us in the gene pool?

Maybe our kids were meant to take over the world or something ; ) and someone's poisoning our drinking water to keep us from procreating...hahaha. Yep, that frappucino went straight to my head! At least I'm having what I call a "well adjusted week".