That's probably the best way to describe me right now. I had yet another episode of spotting on Saturday night which continued into Sunday. Seems to be pretty much gone now. But after promising I wouldn't, I still panicked. I also seemed to be having major cramps on Sunday...which later seemed to be due to constipation. While I told Patrick I forgot to take my Colace on Sat night, thinking back, I actually forgot it on Friday, too...oops.
I am having all sorts of weird cramps though...not horrible just noticeable, so it's freaking me out a little bit. But I'm also extremely nauseous, so everything seems "normal".
The sad thing is that I don't know what "normal" is for this stage.
We made it the farthest we ever made it last time. She stopped growing at 9w3d, we found out at 9w5d...I'm 9w5d today. I think that's why the spotting on Saturday really freaked me out, it just reminded me of what happened last time. All of that pain is still so real, I can't imagine having to relive it all over again. I just need to get to Wednesday, past all the bad memories, into new and exciting territory. I just need to get past all this pain.
Oh, speaking of pain, interesting occurrence last night. I was having this horrible nightmare that I had appendicitis and was in the emergency room. They needed to do surgery, I was trying to tell them I was pregnant, and the pain was excruciating. Imagine my horror when I wake up and realize the pain I had been "dreaming" was very real. Except instead of low and on my right side, it was higher up. I was in major pain under my ribs all the way down to my belly button and it hurt all the way across. I got up to pee thinking moving might help, but it was absolutely horrible. I came back to bed and woke up Patrick to tell him #1 baby is fine but #2 something is wrong with me. Somewhere in all of that, I decided that I felt a little better if I sat up. It hurt so bad that I could not take in a decent breath. Slowly, I started to move a little bit and finally it released. Boy, it was scary because I had no idea what it was and it was bad enough to wake me up!
So this morning, I'm describing it to one of my co-workers and she starts laughing. She asked me if I ate dinner. Well no, as a matter of fact, I was having a very nauseous day yesterday. I ate a tiny bit of breakfast, a small lunch at 11am, and then I just couldn't eat dinner so I had a little fruit salad. She told me, I had gas! I was like "no, but it was in my chest". She then asked if I felt better once I sat up. LOL! Yep, I had some trapped air, probably in my stomach, no food in there to keep it busy, and it wreaked havoc on me in my sleep.
I'm sure Patrick will be really pleased to know I woke him up at 3am because of gas...
An update, just cause...
4 years ago
2 comments:
You. Can. Freak.
Some will tell you this is no time to panic, but if that's how you feel, that's how you feel. AFTER you get to 12 weeks, people can start slapping you like that scene in Airplane when you panic. But you're still in that white-knuckle, hold-your-breath, uncharted-waters freakout fest that is the first trimester after recurrent loss.
However, panic is not likely to really change any outcome that's coming. On some level, you know that. And on some level, you know you need to EAT even if you feel like throwing up. Baby needs some food! Try a milkshake. Cool, creamy and full of calories, protein, and fat. And it comes up easier than most things if it has to make a return...
Keep on trucking and feel what you feel. If you eat those emotions, you really WILL have a SUPERSIZED tummy ache.
It is so hard to judge what is GOOD pain and what is pain to panic with.
I know you may not want to eat when you feel nauseous, but you should try to eat a little something - that way, you do not have as much gas and also, the nausea may subside a bit.
Thinking of you...and hope you have no more scares.
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