Happy Mother's Day

Happy Mother’s Day everyone!!!

I know, I know, I really need to get back to work on updating this blog. I’m happy to say that we’re slowly getting into our own groove, and we even made it out to our first lunch with friends today! My goal next week will be to post everyday complete with pictures to catch you up!!! Hold me to that!!!

For now, just a quick note on Mother’s Day. What an amazing day it will be this year. Mother’s Day was always a fun day before we started this journey. Ever since we were newlyweds, I’d usually get a Mother’s Day card from the cats along with a Starbucks giftcard…occasionally the dogs would chip in too ; ) The first Mother’s Day after we started trying to have a baby, all of that still happened, along with a card that talked about how soon I’d have a real Mother’s Day. After that year, Mother’s Day was not so happy anymore. We found it best to just ignore the holiday completely. Poor Patrick never knew exactly what to do or say on that day. As the timing worked out over the past 4 years, I was never pregnant on Mother’s Day (and even managed to miss it with this pregnancy). Most of the time, I was still very raw from the latest miscarriage…most of the time, I spent the day crying (and usually the preceding weeks were no fun either with all the Mother’s Day commercials). I guess not all that much has changed because I’m still crying at all the Mother’s Day commercials…just for a different reason.

I think it’s finally hit me that I’m a mother. I had Larkin in her sling while I put away laundry in her room this week. I was playing one of the CDs my mom had bought her, she was sleeping soundly cuddled against me, and I was packing away her preemie clothes she had grown out of already…and it really hit me. I started crying uncontrollably, but they were all tears of joy.

We made it. I still remember every detail of every bad day, every bad result, every painful moment…but it was all absolutely worth it. Every dirty diaper, every hungry tantrum, every sleepy morning…and every smile, every laugh, every gurgle, grunt, sneeze, hiccup…I’d do it all again in a second…and maybe someday I will.

So Happy Mother’s Day everyone. To those with children to hold…and to those with the hope that someday it will finally be their turn.