Moving ahead

I've been superbusy lately, so I've barely had time to myself.

Last Thursday, I had an u/s and my cyst was completely gone. Stopped BCPs, started bleeding profusely on Sunday morning, started Femara on Monday, and took my last Femara pills this morning...I'm still spotting which is pissing me off, but we'll see what happens. I'm just hoping my body responds...I've definitely had a couple of hot flashes, I'm sluggish, but I didn't have the headaches that I've had before (I know, what a dumb bunny to complain about a lack of side effects with fertility meds). Anyway...midcycle scan is next Thursday (my mom's b-day) so we'll see what happens...trying my best not to think about it.

Other than that, all is well. I've been frustrated lately with pregnant women, but what else is new. One of my co-workers had her baby last week. I went and saw her at the hospital and went by her house this weekend to see the baby...he was beautiful and holding him just made me ache that much more for this. My other pregnant co-worker had her big ultrasound this week, it's a boy, she's barely showing and very, very skinny, I swear I just want to hold her down and feed her. And then there are other friends I know who drink occasionally while pregnant or exercise way too hard, and while I know that's "okay" with some doctors, it just hurts me that I can't get it right being so careful.

I'll just never understand how some people keep getting pregnant over and over again while here I am, doing every freaking thing I can, and I lose them over and over again...I've given up trying to make sense of it all, but it still hurts...

All I can do is keep trying...