Monday, May 15, 2006

Letting Go....

I'm trying to let go....so far so good.

We're on a break of sorts. The infamous 30th birthday is now...17 days away (the horror!), so we're going away for a beach weekend. I didn't want to ruin the prospect of a wonderful weekend (which is going to put me on the verge of a nervous breakdown anyway) with worrying about testing or ovulating or any of the crap that I've dealt with constantly for the past 2 years. I'm not worrying about cycle days, fertile stuff, timing sex....none of it, I'm done.

I'm letting go....for a little while.

As seems to always be the case with me, it's more complicated than a one cycle break. A break this cycle automatically forces us into a break next cycle because I'll be in Virginia for school. Oh well, not such a bad thing right? Right?

My body flat out told me it wasn't ready...and if I take a second to listen to my heart...she's agreeing.

So what am I doing to pass the time...EVERYTHING! I went to a class called Boot Camp at the hym on Saturday, seriously the name is self explanatory! I still hurt today. I've joined a tennis league, and I'm contemplating stepping foot on a soccer field again. It's been over a year, but all of a sudden, I want to play. There's a short summer season, and guess what? I can now play over 30! I never played the summer league because I didn't really want 20-year old college kids running by me with no problem. But over 30 : ) Now all of a sudden my speed and quickness matter a little more : ) This might be fun!

So that's it, we're on hiatus. And it feels really good so far. We had the best weekend we've had in a while...and the best part...I survived Mother's Day without a tear (well, you can't count the crying from Grey's Anatomy last night!!!). I don't really know how I did it, except that Patrick kept me busy. We just had fun...and didn't worry about anything else for just a little while. I'm hoping that it's just the beginning of a carefree summer!