As the Tummy Grows...

In all my excitement last week, I forgot to post the newest belly progression. I swear though, I've grown again since we took these pictures last week!

Here's the total progression to date.




And here's all of me! I always think I look more pregnant with my shirt down! LOL!

It's a.....

GIRL!!!

We had our appt with the perinatologist yesterday. We were both pretty nervous going in because you just can't help but wonder if everything is still going as it should. I mean I know we hear the heartbeat and I feel movement, but still, that doubt creeps in about heart defects, tumors, cysts, you name it.

Of course, everything was just perfect. As soon as he put the probe on, he said GIRL! Patrick, who had proclaimed he wanted a boy, started smiling and didn't stop until we left in separate cars. The rest of the ultrasound went great. Everything in the right place, 2 arms, 2 legs, he checked the brain, spine, stomach, bladder, kidneys, etc. Strangely when he was measuring the leg bones, he turned to Patrick and said "Now how tall are you Dad?" By the way, I love that they call us Mom and Dad at this office...LOL! Of course, Patrick is way tall (6'3"-4"), so it makes me wonder if we've got a long one in there. ; ) Anyway, she measured a few days ahead like last time, and everything looked just great...she was kicking and turning, and when he put it on 3D, you could see her chubby little cheeks (picture to come later).

In other good news, my cervix is doing wonderfully. It measured 2.5cm last month when we decided to put in the cerclage. Yesterday, it measured 3.1cm!! So that means the cerclage is actually making it stronger, I was so happy to hear this!

We were headed to our cars when Patrick said "She can be a girly girl but still be tough. I can see her saying 'Hold on, let me put down my Prada so I can kick your ass.'"
Yep, that's what we're in for. Lord help us if she gets Patrick's size and my temper and decides to play soccer.

Patrick wanted to head home to leave one car behind so we could shop. We ran around looking at cribs and girly bedding (not too girly though), and then we went and had dinner at the Melting Pot (our favorite fondue place). It was just nice ro relax and have a long dinner to talk about things.

We're having a daughter...I'm going to have a daughter. I didn't realize how much I wanted a girl until the dr. said it. In that moment, I remembered hearing about the chromosome testing from my last two losses....2 girls...had I never had a daughter, I think there would have always been that empty place in my heart...but now....a daughter...my daughter. I still can't believe this is real.

Mr./Ms. Wiggles

I swear I can get nothing done once this baby starts wiggling around. I just sit here in awe of what's happening. The movement has really gotten more pronounced over the past few days, with tons of noticeable "wiggles" and even a few kicks. I'm loving every minute of it, but I can imagine that if the baby stays this active, I may not be getting much sleep in a few months...LOL!

Patrick and I also had our first trip to Babies R Us together this weekend...needless to say, he was a little overwhelmed when we walked out. I think it was part "how much is all of this going to cost?" and part "oh God, we're really having a baby". But he's very cute when he gets opinionated, and he proceeded to shake the crap out of every single Pack n Play before he decided which one was safest...LOL!

We're still undecided on bedding, and that just got worse when I introduced him to the more expensive bedding sets that they don't sell at Babies R Us. We're trouble when we're together because we both enjoy the finer things in life...it seems this baby will be no different. But then again, it is going to get pooped, peed, and puked on, so we need to learn to be a little more practical. That being said, I think we've both decided on a certain style of crib that we won't compromise on, so we'll just see if we catch any sales in the next couple of months.

I am fighting miserable headaches these days, and today's is bordering on a migraine. I'm in my office with most of the lights off and I'm functioning, but at some point, I've got to make a decision about when to drive home if it seems like it's getting worse. Sounds like a short day today.

Updates, updates, updates!!!

I know, I suck, I'm sorry!!!
Things have just been nutty at work, and my parents came to visit, too.

All is well (and growing). Let's see. I haven't had any appointments in the past couple of weeks, but there have been some developments. On Monday, I was sitting at my desk, and I felt the strangest sensation...like someone had touched my abdomen from the inside very lightly...as soon as I started to think "was that...?" it happened again...my first baby flutter!! Anyway, I felt the fluttering again everyday this week. Just this morning, I was thinking I hadn't felt anything, so I sat still, and as if he heard me, I got a big "thump"! I swear he must have flipped completely! This has been the craziest thing. First there was doubt as to what it was, but it's always in the same spot, and in the same area where we hear his loud heartbeat on the doppler!!

My parents were here this past weekend, and we had a blast. They are just so excited. We sent Patrick out golfing Saturday so we went to Babies R Us, and as Dad said, went through every single aisle. Mom was being great, just telling me all about this crap that I'm clueless on (I can tell you the intricacies of how to get and stay pregnant, but I sure as hell can't tell you what to do once you have an actual baby you're responsible for!!). Dad was also hilarious interjecting his own comments and toning Mom down when necessary (although he was on a relentless pursuit for a "man-boob"...seen "Meet the Fockers").

The best part was maternity clothes shopping!! For the love of God, why did I wait so long? Those pants were so comfortable that I literally walked out of Motherhood with a new pair of capris on! I don't even want to know how much my parents spent on me last weekend, but as Patrick put it "I made out like a bandit". Plus, I also got a Snoogle (this ridiculously long pillow that looks more like a creepy snake), which led to my first good night of sleep in a few days and my first morning without a headache. I am NOT a side sleeper normally, so this is really helping me!!

So here's what you've been waiting for. My dear genius husband forgot to send me my 14week pic, so for now, I'll just post the latest at 16w along with a repost of the original 6-12 week progression. Seriously though, you've got to see it now! Oddly, it FEELS way bigger than it looks, and I look more pregnant with my shirt down than with it up...note to self...take both pics next picture day!!
Original progression


16 weeks and a proud pooch!


Oh, one more thing to note. My parents upon arriving Friday were concerned to learn that I'd only gained maybe a pound the whole time (I used to be stupid about weight in high school, weren't we all). However, after seeing me eat all day Saturday, Dad was not concerned in the least...it seems I offered him some of my ribs at lunch and then proceeded to eat them all before he had a chance to have one...LOL!

Ode to my Skinny Jeans

First off, I feel absolutely wonderful post-cerclage. Hard to believe it's even in there! Spotting stopped on Saturday, no cramping, nada!

What's more fun is that my nausea is now gone, but it has been replaced by MAJOR hunger! Seriously, yesterday in the span of 10 minutes I went from thinking I might be hungry to shaky hands, feeling faint, give me food NOW hungry. It was crazy! On another note, along with the nausea leaving, my energy seems to have returned (all of this happened yesterday!). I had the most productive day at work in 3 months and even made dinner last night (still fell asleep at 9pm, but what's a girl to do).

Now let's take a moment to remember my skinny jeans. We all have them...the tightest ones in the closet, the ones that say "I'm going out, and I'm looking good." They were my favorites, always flattering, always dressy...always buttoned?? Not anymore. Now you know I've been using the Bella Band to leave my jeans unbuttoned for the comfort factor, but I felt the need to point out that my pants still DO button (just not comfortably). Well, the same cannot be said for my skinny jeans. Just recently, I put them on and discovered that while they go on (and can be held up by the Bella Band), it is in fact physically impossible to button them...they were the first to go...I'm guessing because they're low-rise. Anyway, this happened a week ago. Just yesterday, my dressy fitted black pants met the same fate. Although these still will button, but if I'd sat down or sneezed, I would have lost a button and someone would have lost an eye.

That being said, tomorrow is picture day (again!), so let's see if there's a difference this time! I definitely look a little chubbier, but still don't look pregnant.

Oh, a random note on cravings...most women crave cookies, cake, salty chips, french fries...I on the other hand crave MEAT and most recently last night...get this...cooked spinach with butter. And it tasted SO GOOD!!!!

Cerclage....Check!

Well my cerclage is in!

We headed to the hospital yesterday, and it was a very interesting experience to be there. I've had 3 surgeries there (the other three were at the surgery center), so we've never really been there with good news. Plus a lot of my first BAD ultrasounds were there in the radiology department, so it's just a weird place for me. This was the first time I would come out of surgery still pregnant...and it was the first time passing the rooms with all of the big birth announcements posters didn't bother me. It was the first time I felt like I belonged there (it's strictly a woman's hospital).

So all went well in pre-op. They found the baby quickly with the doppler (160bpm), but all I was thinking was that I hope no one in the curtains next to me was there for a miscarriage...what torture that would have been. We also heard someone else later who they were taking FOREVER to find the heartbeat, and it was funny because Patrick and I both found ourselves listening and getting nervous for this person we didn't know. They finally found it though right before I was taken back. Patrick knows the drill really well, so it wasn't too stressful, but we were really worried about the effect of the anesthesia on the baby.

So in pre-surgery, they put in my IV, and I got to talk to the anesthesiologist. I told him I was panicking about the anesthesia's effect on the baby, and he put down his paperwork, sat on the corner of the bed, and did a magnificent job of calming me down. Apparently, he was 4 kids, all born with the help of a cerclage, all cerclages performed at that hospital under general anesthesia. He told me all the details of what they were giving me, that I would take the brunt of it, the baby wouldn't get much at all, and that it was perfectly safe and they did it multiple times every single day. So I felt SO much better. I also got to talk to Dr. Swaim and of course, she made me laugh and calmed me down again.

Funny thing is, I didn't get to have that usual pre-op "margarita" that calms you down before they wheel you into the OR. So I saw everything, was completely aware, and was very talkative...LOL They told me to take 4 deep breaths as soon as I felt the stinging in my IV. I remember the 4th breath, and that was it!

I woke up in the recovery room and apparently immediately started asking how the baby was doing. They checked the heart rate and found it right away at 148bpm. I asked if that was typical after surgery, and they said usually they're only at 120-130bpm, so my little muffin shook if off like a champ! He's tough like his mama. I had a great nurse in recovery. Actually every nurse I had yesterday was just awesome. It was such a reality check for me. For my other surgeries, everyone was very sympathetic, nurturing, careful...but this time, they would look at my history and tell me how amazing and exciting it was this time. Everyone was chipper and comforting but so upbeat. I was glad to finally be "that girl"...a different girl than I've ever been. Problem child...yes...but PREGNANT problem child. ; )

Anyway, as soon as I saw Patrick he looked worried, but once I told him we already heard the muffin post-surgery, he perked up right away. I sat in recovery and drank my Sprite and then did my job (peed...LOL!). Then they checked the heartbeat again! 156bpm that time, so we were both ready to go!

Leaving there was interesting. They wheeled me down and I waited for Patrick to pull up. There were two other women holding newborns and nervous husbands were attempting to load up the cars. After any other surgery, that would have been pure torture...but yesterday, I vowed that the next time I was wheeled out of that hospital...that would be me.

I feel pretty good. I napped a little yesterday, but I was really restless, last night, too. I got nauseous last night and had a hard time with dinner, but I think that was just the anesthesia. Usually I'm good and drugged post-surgery, but this time, I didn't even ask for any pain meds in recovery and I haven't even taken a Tylenol!

I'm home resting today, and just dealing with a headache that the computer isn't helping with at the moment, so off I go.

I'm so unbelievably grateful that everything went so well. Now we've done everything we can. I WILL have this baby...this WILL be THE ONE! We still take it one day at a time, but at 13w2d, I'm more and more confident that there will continue to be a tomorrow!!

Here's where you humor me

I certainly thought there would be this huge difference this week...and not so much apparently...LOL! I swear I FEEL the difference, I just wish it would show up on the pictures! Right now, I just look like I need to do more crunches! I want a belly already dang it!

My visit with the High-Risk OB

Yesterday was just an awesome day. We met with Dr. Kirshon for the first time. I really like him, and I'm happy to have him on my team. The rooms are really nice, and the ultrasound chairs are way comfy! They're actual chairs that recline and shift all over the place, so it was really nice. Plus the room is dimly lit, very relaxing, and there are 2 additional TVs to the normal ultrasound screen so that we can see what is going on very clearly.

As soon as he put the probe to my stomach...there was our little one. To see that profile of that little baby was amazing, so of course I started crying right away. Funny enough, he had the hiccups!! He kept trying to get his left hand in his mouth..almost like he was trying to get his thumb in his mouth. Then he was kicking his legs for a bit. His hiccups finally went away and then he was just relaxing.

The NT measurement was terrific. I saw the first measurement at 1.1mm, and I said "yay", and Dr. Kirshon explained to Patrick (who was confused) that it was a very benign measurement and meant that everything looked really great. The nasal bone was present, and overall he looked great. We saw 2 arms and 2 legs, heart rate was at 175bpm, and he measured 5.9cm (12w3d). Dr. Kirshon also switched it to 3D for a minute, so that was pretty cool. Although Patrick was having a Rachel on Friends moment and couldn't quite see the baby...I think the picture below is pretty clear, but the scan quality is never as clear as seeing it on the screen.

Dr. Kirshon was very positive (which of course I need to hear) and said that everything looked absolutely terrific and the baby looks perfect for this stage.

Then he measured my cervix. As soon as I saw what the measurement was, I said "Uh-oh", to which he said "Yep, I think we're going to need to place the cerclage". My cervix measured 2.5cm. The cutoffs for preventative cerclages can range from 2.5cm-3cm depending on the doctor. With a history like mine and a cervix that short, the choice was clear. There was no funneling, so it's holding together just fine, but we just won't take a chance.

In the end, I was glad that the decision was so easy to make. I think if it had been borderline and we'd decided to just monitor it every couple of weeks that I would be panicked between each appointment wondering if things were going wrong. Apparently there are no symptoms of an incompetent cervix...it just happens. I know my losses have been horrific, but that kind of loss...I just don't know if I could make it back from that after everything else. So I'm grateful that everyone was so forward-thinking to check me for this now and that they're being proactice.

So Dr. Swaim will be placing the cerclage. My pre-op appts at her office and at Woman's Hospital will be Wednesday, and then the cerclage will be placed at noon on Thursday under general anesthesia.

I'm nervous. I just want everything to be okay. Now that I've seen that little one inside of me (which I still can't quite grasp), I realize just what's at stake.

I've long said that I'll do whatever it takes...so this is just one more step along the way.

Here's my little muffin...cute profile shot


And the 3D alien looking pic...LOL! I can totally see his face though!

Updates

So my sweet husband finally scanned all my ultrasound pictures. I picked the best ones and have posted them on each of the corresponding appointment posts. Now that he has the scanner figured out, I'll try to be faster with my appt next week since those should be pretty cool pictures!

Speaking of sweet husbands, he came home from the grocery store the other day with the most random stuff...snacks, eye shadow brushes (I had complained my favorite one was falling apart), new eye shadow (now I don't generally use eye shadow from the grocery store, but hey, I'll give it a shot), and get this...purple glitter top coat nail polish...could this man know me any better??

Anyway, we're still taking it day by day here. We look forward to the daily muffin checks, and lately, he's been far more panicked than me. He really likes the doppler though, I think it makes it real for him, you know?

One week until my high-risk/perinatal/maternal-fetal medicine/whatever-you-want-to-call-that-dr. appointment.

PIMPLE!!!

Oh dear Lord...people said this might happen but I was not prepared for the monstrosity on my forehead at the moment. I mean it's a full out "stay-home-from-high school" pimple right smack in the middle of my forehead! I felt it coming on yesterday, then the pain from this thing actually woke me up last night. This morning...the horror...Patrick could only laugh. I believe this incident was initiated by the eyebrow waxing I had on Saturday. I noticed that I seemed to have a slight reaction to the post-waxing cooling lotion...and then slowly, it appeared..LOL!

In other news, I did manage to do a little shopping and got a few looser tops here and there. More importantly, I found a bella band, and I'm loving it. I CAN button my pants, but good Lord who wants to!! I'm miserable when they're buttoned, especially if I'm sitting down! I'm finally realizing I should stop trying to suck in because my efforts are producing no results anymore...LOL!

Muffin Watch with the doppler has been fun, and Patrick seems more addicted to it than me. He asked me this morning if I checked on the muffin before I left for work, and I actually hadn't since I planned on making it an evening thing, and I think he was disappointed.

10 weeks 5 days and I'm still here!!!