Post Holiday Updates!

Well I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas and New Year's celebration!! We did a lot of visiting, worked around the house, made some time for fun (see the movie Juno...LOVED it!), and managed to put our house in shambles (more on that later).

First, Christmas brought us to 24 weeks which of course means new pictures! I definitely look pregnant now, but as usual, I'm already bigger than when we took these pictures last week!!
The latest progression...



24 weeks (oh and a new hairdo..heehee)


All went well at my appt last week. Much to my surprise, my appointments will now be every 2 weeks, another "perk" of being a problem child (although Dr. Swaim keeps telling me what a boring pregnant lady I am these days!! : ) ). Next week's appt will also include my glucose tolerance test, and I hear that lovely liquid I get to drink is just yummy...not. In other news, she said I'd be switching over to heparin (twice daily shots instead of once daily Lovenox) at about 36 weeks in preparation for delivery. Also, we have a window!!! This little girl will arrive somewhere between April 1-4th! That's our induction window! We'll most likely be looking at April 2nd, exactly 38 weeks. That's exactly 3 months from today and a fairly terrifying thought...LOL!

Referring back to my mention of our house mess...we decided to go ahead and put in the same wood flooring we used for the nursery in the living room. So currently my living room furniture is spread between the breakfast nook and dining room and the piano is blocking one entryway making for a creative escape route from the kitchen to the front door. Turns out I can't slip through those tight spots that I used to ; ) But of course, the floor will be completely worth it once it's done. I can't believe how much dirt and dust was under the carpet, and I'll be much happier with it gone!!

Happy Holidays!

Before I forget, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year everyone! I'll be leaving work today and not coming back until after the New Year, so hopefully, I'll be too busy resting and working around the house to get online. ; )

We have so much to be grateful for this holiday season, but it's still hard to forget the difficult times we've had...especially thinking of the holidays. Three years ago, my grandfather passed away unexpectedly...on December 29th. I was away in Virginia for school already. I was actually doing a take-home final in my hotel room while he was in emergency surgery. Everyone thought everything was going to be fine. But in the middle of the night, the phone rang and Patrick answered, and as soon as I heard the tone of his voice, I knew what my mom had called to say. At that moment, my world came crashing down. I had yet to experience "loss" at that point in my life. I had never had a miscarriage, I had never lost a close friend or relative, I'd never been the one at the funeral that people were giving condolences to. My grandparents raised me until I was 14...he was as much my dad as he was my grandfather. I felt like my heart had been ripped out of my chest. I still remember sitting in the airport that day waiting for my flight...time seemed to move so slowly. I didn't know how to deal with that kind of pain...but I guess God had me in training. Two months later I was pregnant, what a miracle...but over the course of 4 weeks, I would go through 2 more losses...I'd get good at it before it was all over.

But back to the holiday issue. I've found myself a little depressed this holiday season...what on earth do I have to be depressed about?!? Well I finally figured it out. The holidays have been the source of a lot of sorrow for me in the past few years. 3 years ago, the death of my grandfather...we buried him New Year's Day. 2 years ago, I was suffering through my 4th loss. I ended up with a D&C on December 23rd and spent Christmas at my parents in my pajamas, bleeding and cramping horribly. And then last year....all the promise that the pain was over only to have it end so very badly. I was pregnant last Christmas, that was actually when we told my family. I was pregnant but so very worried because I was still in the "dangerous" first trimester. I was pregnant last New Year's...but two days later I started spotting and then it was all over again...loss#5. I was wondering why I had such a hard time finding my Christmas decorations this year and why nothing was packed the way I usually do it. Then we remembered that I wanted nothing to do with it. Patrick put away everything, took down the tree, I'm pretty sure I was downstairs drugged post D&C. Another holiday season ending in tragedy.

So how do I do this now? Here we are, with everything that we've ever dreamed of this holiday season. As this little one kicks me as I write this, I think it comes back to the fact that I still have a hard time believing this is really happening. Patrick gets happier by the day. He'll be on the phone complaining about something at school and then the minute he walks in the door and sees my belly, his whole demeanor changes. She's already had such an impact on our lives, but why am I still so afraid to believe this is real?

That's my Christmas wish this year...I wish for the courage and the faith to enjoy every second of this pregnancy, every second of this little girl's life. Lord knows that we've fought long and hard for this, and I'm still in absolute awe that our prayers have been answered.

Merry Christmas everyone.

22 weeks pics...getting rounder

I swear, the bump is really much more impressive in person, the pictures don't do it justice ; ) Just in the past couple of days, people have FINALLY started noticing that I'm pregnant. It's really much more exciting than I had imagined. Patrick is absolutely in love with this belly, he said seeing me grow just gives him reassurance that everything is going as it should. Of course, she kicked him pretty good yesterday, too, so that helps. ; )

So here are the latest pics! As usual, the progression...


the newest pic...notice my nice increase in weight! Finally, the scale is starting to move...hopefully it doesn't start to move too fast, but for now, I'm happy with the change of pace!

and then this is how I looked last night before the soccer booster club meeting.

Not much on tap for the next few days. I might try to get some holiday baking in, and we're definitely going to see I Am Legend tomorrow on IMAX (although I'm pretty sure that I won't stop crying for hours if/when something happens to the dog...). We're attempting a garage sale maybe on Saturday to try to get rid of some stuff, but we'll see if we're motivated enough to do it...LOL!

Extreme Makeover: Nursery Edition, Stage One

Well the room that was previously known as "the office" is now officially "the nursery". That room has been through major issues. It used to be functional, but honestly, I think I become more and more distanced from that room as things got worse for us. It was always "the office" but it was also always "the room that will be the nursery." So as that possibility grew less and less, I didn't even want to see the room. Over the course of the last year and a half, I don't even think I'd been in there but twice. The door had been closed, random things would get stored there, and it became the clutter room. I was too afraid to look in there because I knew I would think about the fact that there should have been a baby in there by now...

So this before picture, really doesn't do the room justice. There were bookshelves, a large computer desk, a sewing machine table, random boxes of books, backpacks, etc. occupying all of this room. It just became the room for things we didn't want to deal with. So to open that door was a huge step for us. Patrick cleaned it out in a matter of a couple of days. This is what it looked like once everything was out.

You can actually see our paint trial on the wall at that point...LOL!

So over Thanksgiving weekend, Patrick and my dad proceeded to paint the entire room in my preselected colors. : )


And they also managed to lay down new flooring which they were able to finish in a couple of days (Thanks to the tool loaning fairies for saving us!!).


So there it sits...waiting for my next move. ; ) I probably won't do a whole lot until after the showers. We need to order the furniture and the bedding. I also plan to do some painting of dragonflies, flowers, etc, but I really need to find the time! It would probably be easier to do that before the furniture gets here so maybe that will be my Christmas-New Years week project.

Anyway, we go in there once every couple of days and just walk around. It's so clean and fresh...just this wonderful new start for a room...it truly amazes me to think that this room will belong to someone we haven't even met yet...but someone we've waited for for so long...

Belated Tummy Update

I'm so bad at this. I'm getting ready to take my 22 week pictures in 2 days, and I'm just now posting my 20 week pictures!! Sorry!! There's definitely been A LOT of growth since we took these a couple of weeks ago!!

Here's my total progression again with the newest pic added (apparently my photographer decided to do a little more of a close-up this time...LOL!).



And here's what I look (looked...LOL!) like in clothes. Pardon Tristan's tail in the bottom of the picture...LOL!


I can't wait for my pictures on Wednesday. I've been SO sore everynight that there's all sorts of growing and stretching going on, it's GOT to show up in the picture this time!!!

Leaving the State of Denial

I'm truly attempting to leave the state of denial. There's an actual baby in here. I know because I feel her move. Patrick can feel her move (at 20w1d), and I can see my tummy move when she kicks if I'm paying attention (she's a strong one!). I'm having a baby. There's a room that's dedicated to her. Clothes and shoes and toys that we've gathered through the years...and it was all meant for her. I'm really having a baby, and whenever I start to doubt or forget that fact, she kicks me to remind me that she's really there...and she's really mine.

My hormones are a joy lately, and anything can make me cry. I've avoided everything baby for so long that now the sight of a tiny sock can trigger waterfalls from me. This is really happening. Patrick seems more well-adjusted to this fact than I am, but it's really starting to hit me now.

Speaking of Patrick, he's been completely cracking me up lately. First, we were driving home one day, and he started to ask me about the models in my Fit Pregnancy magazine. He said that maybe I could do that...LOL! When I told him that I am and always will be too short to be a model, he proceeded to say that half the pictures were of women sitting down, so he couldn't see why it mattered. I also told him that the pregnant women in the magazine, while really pregnant, were also real models...LOL! Just the fact that he considered me pregnant-cute enough to suggest I could model pregnant was enough to make me feel even more comfortable with this changing body of mine....or maybe he just wanted to golf this weekend ; )

Continuing with my goofy husband, last night he was attempting to talk to the baby, and I told him he needs to talk directly to the belly. So he puts his mouth on my belly and says what? "Baby.....I am your father" in his best Darth Vader voice. Luckily, she already appreciates his silly sense of humor and kicked.

I definitely owe you some pictures. First of the nursery work done over Thanksgiving. And then last week's belly picture at 20 weeks. I'll try to remember to download those tonight!!!

As the Tummy Grows...

In all my excitement last week, I forgot to post the newest belly progression. I swear though, I've grown again since we took these pictures last week!

Here's the total progression to date.




And here's all of me! I always think I look more pregnant with my shirt down! LOL!

It's a.....

GIRL!!!

We had our appt with the perinatologist yesterday. We were both pretty nervous going in because you just can't help but wonder if everything is still going as it should. I mean I know we hear the heartbeat and I feel movement, but still, that doubt creeps in about heart defects, tumors, cysts, you name it.

Of course, everything was just perfect. As soon as he put the probe on, he said GIRL! Patrick, who had proclaimed he wanted a boy, started smiling and didn't stop until we left in separate cars. The rest of the ultrasound went great. Everything in the right place, 2 arms, 2 legs, he checked the brain, spine, stomach, bladder, kidneys, etc. Strangely when he was measuring the leg bones, he turned to Patrick and said "Now how tall are you Dad?" By the way, I love that they call us Mom and Dad at this office...LOL! Of course, Patrick is way tall (6'3"-4"), so it makes me wonder if we've got a long one in there. ; ) Anyway, she measured a few days ahead like last time, and everything looked just great...she was kicking and turning, and when he put it on 3D, you could see her chubby little cheeks (picture to come later).

In other good news, my cervix is doing wonderfully. It measured 2.5cm last month when we decided to put in the cerclage. Yesterday, it measured 3.1cm!! So that means the cerclage is actually making it stronger, I was so happy to hear this!

We were headed to our cars when Patrick said "She can be a girly girl but still be tough. I can see her saying 'Hold on, let me put down my Prada so I can kick your ass.'"
Yep, that's what we're in for. Lord help us if she gets Patrick's size and my temper and decides to play soccer.

Patrick wanted to head home to leave one car behind so we could shop. We ran around looking at cribs and girly bedding (not too girly though), and then we went and had dinner at the Melting Pot (our favorite fondue place). It was just nice ro relax and have a long dinner to talk about things.

We're having a daughter...I'm going to have a daughter. I didn't realize how much I wanted a girl until the dr. said it. In that moment, I remembered hearing about the chromosome testing from my last two losses....2 girls...had I never had a daughter, I think there would have always been that empty place in my heart...but now....a daughter...my daughter. I still can't believe this is real.

Mr./Ms. Wiggles

I swear I can get nothing done once this baby starts wiggling around. I just sit here in awe of what's happening. The movement has really gotten more pronounced over the past few days, with tons of noticeable "wiggles" and even a few kicks. I'm loving every minute of it, but I can imagine that if the baby stays this active, I may not be getting much sleep in a few months...LOL!

Patrick and I also had our first trip to Babies R Us together this weekend...needless to say, he was a little overwhelmed when we walked out. I think it was part "how much is all of this going to cost?" and part "oh God, we're really having a baby". But he's very cute when he gets opinionated, and he proceeded to shake the crap out of every single Pack n Play before he decided which one was safest...LOL!

We're still undecided on bedding, and that just got worse when I introduced him to the more expensive bedding sets that they don't sell at Babies R Us. We're trouble when we're together because we both enjoy the finer things in life...it seems this baby will be no different. But then again, it is going to get pooped, peed, and puked on, so we need to learn to be a little more practical. That being said, I think we've both decided on a certain style of crib that we won't compromise on, so we'll just see if we catch any sales in the next couple of months.

I am fighting miserable headaches these days, and today's is bordering on a migraine. I'm in my office with most of the lights off and I'm functioning, but at some point, I've got to make a decision about when to drive home if it seems like it's getting worse. Sounds like a short day today.

Updates, updates, updates!!!

I know, I suck, I'm sorry!!!
Things have just been nutty at work, and my parents came to visit, too.

All is well (and growing). Let's see. I haven't had any appointments in the past couple of weeks, but there have been some developments. On Monday, I was sitting at my desk, and I felt the strangest sensation...like someone had touched my abdomen from the inside very lightly...as soon as I started to think "was that...?" it happened again...my first baby flutter!! Anyway, I felt the fluttering again everyday this week. Just this morning, I was thinking I hadn't felt anything, so I sat still, and as if he heard me, I got a big "thump"! I swear he must have flipped completely! This has been the craziest thing. First there was doubt as to what it was, but it's always in the same spot, and in the same area where we hear his loud heartbeat on the doppler!!

My parents were here this past weekend, and we had a blast. They are just so excited. We sent Patrick out golfing Saturday so we went to Babies R Us, and as Dad said, went through every single aisle. Mom was being great, just telling me all about this crap that I'm clueless on (I can tell you the intricacies of how to get and stay pregnant, but I sure as hell can't tell you what to do once you have an actual baby you're responsible for!!). Dad was also hilarious interjecting his own comments and toning Mom down when necessary (although he was on a relentless pursuit for a "man-boob"...seen "Meet the Fockers").

The best part was maternity clothes shopping!! For the love of God, why did I wait so long? Those pants were so comfortable that I literally walked out of Motherhood with a new pair of capris on! I don't even want to know how much my parents spent on me last weekend, but as Patrick put it "I made out like a bandit". Plus, I also got a Snoogle (this ridiculously long pillow that looks more like a creepy snake), which led to my first good night of sleep in a few days and my first morning without a headache. I am NOT a side sleeper normally, so this is really helping me!!

So here's what you've been waiting for. My dear genius husband forgot to send me my 14week pic, so for now, I'll just post the latest at 16w along with a repost of the original 6-12 week progression. Seriously though, you've got to see it now! Oddly, it FEELS way bigger than it looks, and I look more pregnant with my shirt down than with it up...note to self...take both pics next picture day!!
Original progression


16 weeks and a proud pooch!


Oh, one more thing to note. My parents upon arriving Friday were concerned to learn that I'd only gained maybe a pound the whole time (I used to be stupid about weight in high school, weren't we all). However, after seeing me eat all day Saturday, Dad was not concerned in the least...it seems I offered him some of my ribs at lunch and then proceeded to eat them all before he had a chance to have one...LOL!