A New Chapter

So it's no surprise that this blog has sort of fallen off the radar. Just in case anyone checks back here, the story continues...the tone is different, the scope has changed, and the endings are happier. To those of you still on your journey...I wish you success, luck, but most of all, I wish you peace wherever your road ends...

The new blog...
http://moonmadness13.blogspot.com/

Funny Chicken

I know, I know, I need to be better about this, but hey, I'm working on it : )

I had a particularly funny day with Larkin yesterday and just thought I'd share my little chicken's antics.

Funny moment #1: Upon stretching, straining, and reaching awkwardly across her and her carseat to get the stuffed Tigger on the opposite side of the car and hand it to her, my chicken smiles and tells me "good girl".

Funny moment #2: Got her to school, sat her down in the kitchen with her breakfast nervous about how sticky she'll be eating waffles with syrup, I stop to fix her hair. While I'm doing that, she quickly stabs a piece of waffle with her spork and puts it in her mouth. As I sit there in awe, she does it again...and gives me a look like "what?" Turns out she can use a fork (well, spork) to feed herself...who knew!?

Funny moment #3: Getting home from school and looking through her bag, wondering how long her nap was...
Me: What does your sheet say?
Larkin: Baaaaaa


Oh and the whole "spell it out" covert tactic that most parents use with toddlers is apparently not foolproof. When discussing whether or not we should get her a S-N-A-C-K this weekend, she looked at us and said "Ya, eat, nack". Are you kidding me? We're in so much trouble!

Looking Back

So I do have in mind a series of “Reflections” posts, but this seemed a fitting place to start…just a general look back highlighted by a particular annual event that was held recently.

A little over 2 years ago (why does 2007 seem like a decade ago?), we had a small gathering of friends up in our neck of the woods. It was planned for awhile, and the unfortunate timing of it left me licking my wounds (although let’s be honest, when was I NOT licking some sort of wound from 2004-2008). This was a group of friends from college, some of whom we used to see regularly, some rarely, ALL who were successfully procreating in some regard. Several kids at the gathering, but most difficult were two pregnant friends…who were due within a couple of weeks of when I should have been due with that latest miscarriage (which thankfully ended up being my LAST miscarriage). Nothing bothered me more in those days than to see a large belly, a doting husband, all the anticipation and excitement of a stage I could never reach…and didn’t know if I ever would. To see “where I should have been” was always the sharpest knife to me…especially since all around me were “should have beens”…a toddler running around (could have had one that age), a new baby barely learning to sit up (could have had one that age), and the bellies (SHOULD have been there at least, right?).

So this is what we looked like in 2007.

When I first saw the picture, I wrote it off as us being tired (we were playing in a tennis tournament that weekend and were truly exhausted). But reflecting on it now, I see such tremendous sadness in this picture. The worst of it is that I don’t look the saddest. I see an image of myself fighting through it, putting on a smile. But Patrick’s look…I know that one well, and it hurts me to my core that he was ever in that place…because I still feel like it was me that drug him down that hole. I could/can handle my pain, but to remember what it put him through…well those scars ache a bit still.

But on to happier busier times. In 2008, we had the second annual gathering. What a difference a little over a year makes. Here we are, one chubby little chicken, and a teeny tiny bun in the oven. All that aching/wanting to be either the mama or the pregnant lady at these gatherings and here I get to be BOTH the same year…LOL!

Can you see the terror on my face? Patrick looks absolutely content, and I swear my face is saying “Is it too hot out here for her? Is that bug flying towards her? Did I just start spotting? How am I going to handle another baby?” all at once. : )

Flash forward one more year to our third annual gathering in 2009. Our amazing family all looking in the general direction of the camera, two fulfilled albeit tired parents, and two unbelievable, miracles in their own right, children. Yes, I’m still neurotic about germs, schedules, crying, etc, but hey, I’m getting there. The fact that all 4 of us made it out of the house this put together is a true testament to how far we’ve come ; ) So here we are…this is what the other side of hell looks like…and it’s absolutely wonderful.

The Kellen Update

Oh where to start with my sweet boy. He’s yet to have a nickname stick. I’ve alternated between froggy (for how he’s constantly making jumping motions with his legs when he’s excited) and lobster (he’s always pinching me!), but Larkin’s nickname for him has stuck the most…Kiki…LOL!

I’m sure you’ll remember how I always said Larkin was a super easy baby (you’ll at least remember how you hated me for that…LOL!), well Kellen was/is a bit more “challenging”. Feel better now?

The good news is that he’s well on his way to being a good/happy baby now but we definitely had some rough spots. He cries…Larkin NEVER cried. He still cries everytime we attempt to get him to sleep…it’s normal for him (and apparently for most babies, who knew!). But for the first few weeks, he was miserable when he wasn’t sleeping. He fought with his bottle the same way Larkin did, spit up through his nose daily, would cry inconsolably (again Larkin could ALWAYS be soothed) at times, and just seemed to genuinely not be happy. Somehow that translated into me not letting anyone else help with him (I didn’t want to burden anyone else with it I guess), so he became completely attached to me and it led to bonding issues with him and Patrick.

I also got extremely paranoid about Kellen and Larkin touching…Typhoid Mary was always sick, and I was terrified he would get it. Again, it led to issues with me feeling alienated from Larkin, and clinging to Kellen even more. He did get sick, bronchiolitis at 2mo. It was horrible, we all had it and trying to take care of everyone while worrying like crazy and being sick myself was the hardest week of my life. So I have another kid with “asthmatic tendencies”, but he’s another tough cookie! Kept smiling through every breathing treatment and coughing spell. But again, him being sick made me that much more protective of him.

Finally I started to let go of my hold on him…and he’s happier for it. He has the biggest sweetest smile and the nose wrinkle that goes with it sometimes completely melts my heart. Patrick can get him laughing like crazy, and he’ll squeal if you try to clean under his neck. Everytime Larkin gets near him, he just smiles at her in adoration. Even after she’s just finished hitting him in the head, he smiles at her.

So while I can say the first few weeks were rough, we’ve settled into a rhythm. Last night, both kids were down for the night at 7:30pm…and no one got out of their room until 6:30am. It’s absolutely wonderful. He took a little while longer than Larkin to be a good sleeper, but he’s in the groove now! We’re so excited.

He’s reaching for things, playing in the Exersaucer, sitting up well with support, eating his bottles very well, just about ready to roll over (which of course will re-ignite my obsession with staring at the monitor all night…ugh!), and growing like a weed! His visit this week at the doctor revealed that he’s 17 lbs…he’s pretty much on par with Larkin’s weight, but somehow he doesn’t look quite as round as her (maybe he has bigger bones?). I have no idea how long he is since he won’t sit still long enough for us to measure, but he’s definitely over 25 inches at this point. He’s wearing 9 month clothing…he’s 4.5 months. I know I talk a lot about how big my kids are, but it’s truly such a comforting thing to me. To give birth to these tiny babies who go on to have weight gain or feeding issues and then see them grow into these strong little people…it’s just such a relief.

So now, your first real glimpse at Kellen…
February (2 weeks old), long skinny thing



March (1 month old)

April (2 months old)

May (3 months old)

The Larkin Update

So my little chubby chicken has grown a whole lot in the past few months. She continues to dominate the growth charts at 90% for height and weight, but she’s starting to slim down a bit now that she RUNS everywhere she’s going. A quick recap of what she’s been up to.

My poor little chicken has also been nicknamed Typhoid Mary…she picks up every respiratory bug running around. She’s been labeled as having “asthmatic tendencies” but does very well with her inhaler when she’s sick. They even have her on daily Flovent just as a preventative…she usually has no idea she’s sick…LOL! She did have tubes put in her ears in January, but unfortunately, she’s STILL gotten ear infections after. We head to the ENT next month for a follow-up, so I’m curious to get more info on what else we could possibly do.

She started walking right around her first birthday and hasn’t stopped since! By all accounts at school, she’s “tough”. The few “bloody” incidents we’ve had have resulted in minimal tears if any (mostly bitten tongues/lips from falls…LOL!). She just keeps right on playing regardless of what happens.

She is extremely strong willed, and we’re starting to have to deal with that…she definitely understands well enough to know when she’s doing something she’s not supposed to, so we’ve started using “timeout” for safety issues like when she won’t stop standing up in her chair or leave a cord alone, etc. We’ve gotten a glimpse of a couple of tantrums, so we know we’re in for it soon!! LOL!

She talks…A LOT! Seriously, she babbles constantly, but she actually communicates extremely well for a kid her age. Her first real word (used purposefully) was a toss-up between “go” and “ball”. Flash forward to 14.5 months and her word list (again, words she can use with purpose not just repeat) consists of the following (that I can remember at the moment): go, ball, mama, dada, nana, papa, keke (Kellen), hi, bye, hey, cat, dog, please, help (which comes out “helpa” and cracks me up!!), up, down, thanks, shoes, socks (which unfortunately comes out “cocks”…we’re working on that one), yes, no (of course!), simba, elmo, baby, more, wawa (water), cookie (that was a new one this weekend), etc. And then we have the animal sounds that seem to multiple everyday: baa, moo(boo), nay, bzzz, meow, woof, caw, bawk, etc. Seriously, she’ll talk your ear off already and picks up everything and uses it as a pretend phone!!

So here are some long awaited pictures! She’s currently (at 14 months) just over 27 lbs and 31 inches…you know the whole “double their height when they’re 2yrs” thing? Let’s just say she’s pretty much guaranteed to be taller than her mama at this point…LOL!

November 2008 (8 months)


December 2008 (9 months)


January 2009 (10 months)


February 2009 (11 months)



April 2009 (1 year)


May 2009



We caught some cute pictures of the kids this weekend, so I promise to keep them coming!!! Kellen's update complete with pics will be next!!

The Family Update

So just a quick minute to update you on how we’re all doing. I was lucky enough to stay home with Kellen through the end of May. Larkin continued to go to school but would spend a few days home with us now and then…that took some careful coordination, but I survived. I’m now back at work full-time, Larkin is still going to school most days, and Kellen is home with Patrick. Once August rolls around, Kellen will go to school, too. I dread it…just because I like knowing that he’s at home, but I know it’s a necessary part of the process. I miss them terribly when I’m here at work, but it makes me more grateful for the time I have with them otherwise.

I did pretty well after having Kellen. Breastfeeding went terrific…well at least pumping and bottlefeeding him did…LOL! We did well for the first 3 months, but then back to back illnesses (me AND the kids) killed my supply…all at the time that he decided he wanted to eat a lot more, so by 4 months I was done. I did what I could, and he got a whole lot more than Larkin did.

Still trying to get back to my dissertation…hoping to hop back on that in the very near future…hard to find the time, but now that Kellen is experimenting with an earlier bedtime?? We’ll see.

As for future family expansion…I’d say we’re most likely done. To ensure that we didn’t have to worry about that for awhile, I went ahead and had an IUD placed a couple of weeks ago. I’ll let you know what I think of it in a few months.

Post-baby body...looking pretty good. I'm actually about 5lbs lighter than when I got pregnant with Larkin, so I got rid of the baby weight plus the extra 5lbs I was carrying around from the fertility meds...feeling pretty good, I'll have to find the latest picture of me and post when I can (we went to a wedding so I was actually "dressed"...LOL!).

So for a preview of what’s to come, following this update, there will be…
The Larkin Update
The Kellen Update
and then the post I’ve been itching to write…
Reflections on the past 5 years…where we’ve been and where we’re going.

I’ll leave you with a couple family pictures…
Our first family photo

Mother’s Day 2009

Kellen's Birth Story

Where to start…

My pregnancy continued to go really well in the fall. It took us awhile to adjust to the idea that we were having a boy, but it was a wonderful surprise in a pregnancy that was one big surprise beginning to end.

I started having fairly regular contractions in December though which started to make everyone a little nervous. I also seemed to be getting bigger faster, but in the end, I was about the same size I was with Larkin. In early January, I had a little excitement…I lost my mucus plug in the bathroom at work. I called the dr. to ask about it but because I was having an active contraction day and there was blood tinged mucus, I had to go into the hospital to get checked out. I was about 32 weeks at that point. They hooked me up to the monitors and of course, contractions every 3-5 min, but they didn’t feel like the “real thing”. Anyway, got stuck with 3 shots of terbutaline (sound familiar? LOL!) and that stopped it. Dr. Swaim then agreed to not put me on total bedrest but to put me on as limited activity as possible.

My wonderful boss agreed to let me work from home most days, so I ended up only going in 1 day a week. My due date was March 9th, but we had a tentative induction date of Feb. 24th. With restricted activity, we figured we could make it until then. I had lots of contractions though, some days worse than others…I had a feeling I wasn’t going to make it.

On Thursday, Feb 5th, I had an especially active day. That evening, I felt really bad. I remember telling Patrick that I was starting to think I wouldn’t make it to induction day, that something just felt “off”. When I woke up the next morning, Larkin was still in her room and Patrick had gone downstairs to make her bottle. I had slept really miserably and when I walked to the bathroom, I felt achy…I remember sitting on the toilet and thinking to my groggy self “I feel like I’m on my period”…then the realization came to me that beyond the crampiness, I was having the familiar “blood flow” feeling…I shocked myself awake when I looked into a toilet full of blood.

Somehow I managed to go into crisis mode and head straight for my phone. I called my doctor’s answering service and let them know what had happened. By the time I got downstairs and told Patrick, the dr. on call was calling me back and telling me to head straight to the hospital. If the bleeding started soaking through then we were to stop at the nearest ER. Patrick hurried to get Larkin ready to go to school, I helped and tried not to move much. Strangely, I had packed my hospital bag the NIGHT BEFORE! How crazy is that?

We knew we were looking at two options. #1 (best option) I was ripping through my cerclage #2 (bad option) I was having a placental abruption. The end story is actually kind of interesting…you’ll see.

So we head off to drop Larkin off at school, all the while I’m keying into my trusty contraction timer on my IPhone…yep, contractions are 3-5 min apart, and these do feel like “real” ones…complete with the downward pressure...you know the "being squeezed like a tube of toothpaste" feeling. All the way there, I’m trying to explain it all away and say that I’m sure it will be nothing, but I was in total denial and was in total labor! Patrick meanwhile proceeded to make jokes and get stuck in traffic. I told him to put on the flashers and drive on the shoulder…he refused, at which point I told him that if he didn’t hurry I was going to kick him out of the car, leave him there, and drive the rest of the way myself…he laughed.

I never thought I’d be the woman walking into the hospital having contractions. My labor was to be carefully planned and coordinated…not a mad dash on a Friday morning…I didn’t even get to shower or put on make-up! So I make it all the way up to L&D where they are expecting me. Multiple tests ensue, and I’m asking how long they think I’ll be there…hah! Once they get me hooked up to the monitor, they say that I’ll be there “awhile”.

The doctor on call (which coincidentally was the same doctor on call my very first visit to Woman's Hospital...for my emergency ectopic...) comes by and says that I’m only 1cm dilated but that she can see blood and thinks I’m ripping through my cerclage. Contractions were also very regular and at 35.5 weeks, they weren’t going to stop them. We’d have to see if they stopped on their own. She calls Dr. Swaim while they draw my blood, we fill out paperwork etc. I remember asking the nurse if she thought this was it and she just said that my contractions were very regular…but I could see in her eyes that I was in trouble. I had to fill out more paperwork for a “premature delivery”, and panic started to set in.

Then comes Dr. Swaim, walks in joking. They’ve decided they have to cut my cerclage. It takes two doctors, a nurse, Patrick, and about 20 minutes of torture to get it done. Those 20 minutes were easily the most painful of my life, and you all know how much crap I've been through. I remember the first cerclage removal being really uncomfortable, but this took probably 4 times as long and was done WHILE I was in labor and having major pressure and contractions…I hadn’t even had a Tylenol, it was fairly brutal. I made it through though, not a single tear/yell/whine (just a few owowowowow, are you done yets). The minute they finally cut it, Dr. Swaim said I immediately dilated from 1cm to 3cm. That’s when she said we’re having a baby today…and before I could process that info, she broke my water…

…THAT'S when I started crying. They were concerned I was in pain, but I was only terrified that it was too early…that I hadn’t done my job and kept him in longer. I was so worried that he wasn’t going to be okay.

To be honest, the next few hours are a blur. There was some debate as to whether I could have an epidural because I had taken my last heparin injection about 12 hours prior. The funny thing is, that was the first time I had switched from the Lovenox. If I’d taken the Lovenox, an epidural would have been a big NO. They decided to run some bloodwork to check my clotting/platelets and then consult the anesthesiologist. This was around 9am. In the meantime, we’re filling out paperwork, calling parents, they’re explaining how things will be different with a preemie, I’m panicking and still in denial that it’s happening.

The contractions were very regular, very strong, and there was A LOT of pressure. Finally a little after 10am, I get “approved” for my epidural. My nurse walked out for a second, and I told Patrick that I thought I was in trouble…I felt the urge to push, but I didn’t want to tell the nurse because I knew if she checked me, she’d say no epidural. About 10 min later, the anesthesiologist walked in and placed my epidural…a few minutes later, they checked me and I was complete…oh really, what a surprise! The epidural this time was interesting…I never lost feeling in my legs at all, I had complete control of them and could have walked myself to the bathroom….weird. So now I know that I "could" have made it through birth with no pain meds...but the epidural allowed me a few minutes to calm down a little before I had to push.

Anyway, considering that it took me 4 pushes to get Larkin out, they moved pretty quickly to get everyone ready. Kellen took 2 pushes…that’s right…2. I still tore though, oh well! The other interesting thing was that there was blood in the amniotic fluid...a placental abruption had started! For once, my body may have actually done something right and forced him out before it got too dangerous for both of us...the possibilities terrify me.

I heard him cry right away so that was comforting, but in less than 30 seconds, he was whisked out of the room. Apparently, for infants under 36 weeks, they have to take them to a stabilization area where they are seen by the neonatologist. Then they have to be monitored in the NICU for a minimum of 6 hours. So where Larkin was placed on my chest immediately and left there for an hour, I barely got a glimpse of my son.

They came and got Patrick a few minutes later, so at least someone was with him…but I felt very detached. A few more minutes later, they brought him in and let me see him briefly…and then away he went to the NICU.

The next few hours were very rough…I just couldn’t quite accept what had happened. I hadn’t even gotten to hold my son…

Patrick and my mom quickly recognized how disconnected I was and became really worried. The nurse was sweet enough to wheel me over in my bed to see Kellen on my way to my post-partum room. It almost made it worse…I got to touch his foot, but to see this tiny baby in the NICU just upset me even more because it reminded me of Larkin’s time there. I was a mess.

So once my epidural wore off, Patrick ran off to get a wheelchair and take me (force me) to see my son. Finally, I got to hold him…and then the tears came…and things started to get better.

Kellen Patrick was born at 11:17am on February 6, 2009 weighing 5lbs 9oz and measuring 18 inches long.

He was so small, and I was terrified that something was going to happen to him. But he did wonderfully. After his 6 hour NICU stay, he graduated to my room, and I kept him with me as much as possible. He didn’t have a single problem with jaundice…always in the absolute normal range. I credit this to our immediate formula supplementing! I did not want a repeat of Larkin’s issue although I was sure it would happen since it’s common in siblings and he was so much earlier. But we just kept bottle feeding and I started pumping the same day…he avoided jaundice, started gaining weight, and my milk came in terrific! Lessons learned from last time!


So here’s the first picture…LOTS more to come!!

November....

So I was thinking to myself "Self, what happened in the fall that led to you not posting anymore?" Then I remembered the month of November...it was one big blur.

Larkin got sick, which you'll come to learn is the norm at our house. But she got really sick, major cough, congestion, then came the wheezing and inconsolable crying (by both of us). We ended up at the ER on a Saturday afternoon, it was a disaster. Her pulse ox sucked (down to 87 when sleeping) and her test results showed RSV, so we spent the night in the hospital. All the while, I'm of course very pregnant (I think maybe 20-21 weeks at this point?) and coming down with the "cold" as well. Luckily, Larkin did great and only spent one night there. We did end up having to do breathing treatments with her at home, and she of course had a horrible ear infection, but she recovered very well. What should have been a "cold" in an adult turned into major illness in a stressed out and pregnant mom. I was in misery, poor Patrick had to do it all, and my parents helped out a ton...all the illness ran straight into Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving ran straight into Christmas preparation, all the while I'm stressing out about the early contractions, and that pretty much steamrolled into January...where the rest of the story will continue shortly.

Here's our holiday picture...

I'm Baaaaacccckkkk!!

OK, I'm sure this will annoy most of you, but this is just a promise that I will return to this blog very soon with a complete recap of the past few months. I also promise to post regularly again and keep you up to date on the daily craziness of our life!!

Nutshell recap...all is well with our happy family of four. Kellen Patrick made a surprise early appearance (35.5 weeks) on February 6th. I'll post details of the delivery day soon, but suffice to say, he did amazing and even came home with us. After starting out at 5 lbs 9oz, he is now weighing in around 15 lbs at 3.5 months...LOL!

Larkin is a crazy little (well not so little either) munchkin. She's walking, talking, dancing, and is my personal mini-me.

I'm so unbelievably grateful. After talking with many people over the past couple of months that have followed this blog and missed my updates, I felt it was only right to come back to this...to continue to post as much about the happiness as I did about the pain...so that others can see it come full circle.

...may we never forget where we came from.

More soon...

Happy Halloween!!

Yes, I know Halloween is tomorrow, but who knows if I'll get around to posting then.

All is well here. I'm growing...straight out as a matter of fact, it's hilarious. I promise to post belly shots soon, there's definitely a baby in there now as I've passed from the "Is she or isn't she?" stage to "oh my God, is that lady pregnant again?" based on the wide-eyed looks I got at the mall the other day while pushing the stroller...LOL!

Anyway, we're cruising along here. Larkin is terrific, she has an ear infection actually, but you wouldn't know it by the way she is acting. Which reminds me of a PSA, have you seen those EarCheck monitors that are supposed to tell you if there's reason to see the dr. for an ear infection...PIECE OF CRAP. I was using that thing all weekend and early this week, and everytime it came up on the lowest "Fluid not likely" setting...and low and behold yesterday, fluid in the right ear. I plan on writing to them whenever I have a chance, in a couple of years most likely.

Many of you will be happy to know that I am EXTREMELY busy right now...every evening is spent working on my dissertation!! I am really working hard, and with a little luck should be officially graduating in August...but I've really got to keep moving. Someone remind me this will all be worth it in the end...

The good thing about it is that I work in the evenings after Larkin has gone to bed, so while I'm utterly exhausted, I don't feel like I'm missing any time with her, and that's very important to me.

OK, enough talking, just time for a quick glimpse at the cutest little chicken you'll ever see.

Tyrone Strikes Back!

Well we've had an interesting week. I had my perinatologist appointment on Wednesday. We decided it was best for Patrick not to go because it was a busy day for him with the last of the hurricane make-up games, he needs to save his days off in case Larkin gets sick or for when this baby gets here, and Dr. Kirshon's office is always running late so it can turn into a whole day thing!!
Plus, the 18week ultrasound is all about finding out the sex, and we already found out at our NT scan, right?
...
right?
....
so we thought!

It's a BOY!!!!!!!!!

Dr. Kirshon asked if we knew the sex and I told him, yes, you told us girl last time, to which he said "Did I? Did I say 80% girl?" I said "No, you said 90% girl" and he said "Well 1 in 10, this is a boy!" LOL!

Can you believe it???? There "it" was plain as day, no mistaking it!! We're having a boy, we're having a son.

The nurse was just as happy as I was I think. It was just such a surprise! So she put a piece of paper in an envelope that says "Congratulations, it's a BOY!" along with a picture of the "money shot". When I got home, I gave the envelope to Patrick and his response was "What?!? How did that happen?" LOL!

I think we're both still in shock, and this week has been so busy that we haven't had a chance to sit down and really talk about it and enjoy it. Hearing it has been like finding out all over again. You plan out in your head life with 2 daughters, you think you know what you're doing, and then you find out you'll be raising a boy along with your daughter! Craziness!!

I am unbelievably excited though, and this just feels right to me. WHEN all goes well in a few months, we will consider our family complete...who would have ever thought in just 2 short years that all of this would have happened. We are so very lucky!

I'm jumping out of my skin because I get to tell my parents in a few hours...they're on their way here for the weekend!!!

She's 1/2!!!!

Well on October 1st we celebrated Larkin turning 0.5 years old. ; )

Two days later we headed to the dr. for her 6 month appt. I still find it hard to believe that I gave birth to a petite 6lb2oz baby who at 2 weeks old was at the 5th percentile for weight (50th for height and 10th for head circumference). I always tried to make myself feel better by remembering she was two weeks early, but my how times have changed!!!

At 6 months, we are now...
19lbs 6 oz that would be the 90th percentile
26.5 inches long that would be the 75th percentile
42cm head circumference that would be the 45th percentile

She's in 12-18 month clothes if you can believe that! She's sitting up on her own (although has a tendency to teeter over in pursuit of a soccer ball or rattle that gets too far away from her), she can get across the floor fairly effectively but tends to go backwards quite a bit, and she has A LOT to say. They just told us yesterday at daycare that she and another baby (cute little babygirl, 3 days older than Larkin and probably half her size...LOL!) were sitting in their Bumbos having a hilarious conversation. They said one would talk and then the other would wait and listen while the other talked and every now and then apparently someone would say something funny because they'd both start laughing...LOL! No wonder she gets bored with us on the weekends, we don't speak her language ; )

Return to Normalcy

Everything is pretty much back to normal now. It took about 2 weeks before we had power and were all back under the same roof, and a few more days after that until we got cable/internet, but all is well!
I really owe you some new pictures of Larkin. For now, here are a few of my favorite proofs from her session right before the hurricane, she was just over 5 months in these pics!!

Stupid Hurricane

Well I've been away from my blog because I've been away from home...what a mess after this stupid hurricane!!

Early last week it looked like Ike was going to head further south, straight for my parents. So we made jokes all week about how grandma and grandpa were coming back to visit. Then the damn thing turned and kept inching closer and closer to Houston. By Wednesday, the panic was starting...In the time it took me to go to the bathroom, Patrick had consulted with my mom and had decided that she would be picking up me and Larkin the next day. The whole thing was just a mess....

So Mom got to Houston about mid-day on Thursday, we packed up, and off Larkin and I went south. Patrick had school all day and then had to work on boarding up the house, getting everything out of the backyard, etc, so he finally made it down there about midnight. We didn't even get a sprinkle or a breeze where we were, but luckily DirectTV had decided to carry a local Houston channel so we could watch everything that was happening.

Patrick headed back on Saturday afternoon once the storm had passed. Starting Thursday, you couldn't get through to any Houston-based cell phones, but thankfully text messaging worked most of the time. The last we heard from any neighbors was at 3am, and that was to say our house was fine, but a tree had gone through one of the other houses. Patrick got back to see that besides some windblown plants in the backyard, we were fine (our neighbors with the tree will be gutting the house and rebuilding, it was pretty bad). Needless to say there was no power, so Larkin and I stayed with my parents.

We continued to live with my parents for an entire week! School was cancelled, so Patrick had no reason to sit there in the dark so he returned to my parents on Monday afternoon. Yesterday morning (Thursday) we came back to Houston because I needed to go back to work. Because we STILL had no power, I had to leave my sweet baby girl behind...and spend my first night (except for those two nights in the NICU) without her. Luckily, "grandma's house" is her "normal" right now, so I wasn't too worried...but I definitely felt like a part of me was missing. Patrick picked me up from work last night and we went to the movies (what else is there to do!), we also went to Target and then headed home to the dark. The cats were happy to see me as I'm sure they were convinced that Patrick had buried me in the backyard. Woke up this morning and I'm back at work. Patrick is picking me up at 3 so that we can make it back to my parents before Larkin has to go to bed. : ) I can't wait to squeeze my little munchkin!!!!

I am now the last person in my lab WITHOUT power (4 more people got power last night), and we didn't even see the utility trucks anywhere near our neighborhood. We'll spend the weekend with my parents, and then figure out what to do on Sunday. We're in the "power restored by Monday" zone, but I'm not very optimistic at this point. I don't want to spend more time away from Larkin, so maybe on Sunday I'll start to think of creative ways around the power issue for her...taking it one day at a time at this point.

Oh, and Lathonya has a new name.... Ka-a...pronounced Kadasha...let's just say we did not make that name up!!! LOL! We'll just call her K for now...LOL! She's doing great, and the flutters have begun...which is really helping me bond with her...plus, the pooch is getting bigger. More pictures on Monday, so if we have power, I'll post the 8w.12w.16w comparison. Can you believe I'm almost 16 weeks!!!

Cross your fingers that we get power this weekend!!!!

Cerclage #2 is in!

My cerclage went off without a hitch on Tuesday. Thankfully (for us) Gustav stayed east, and all went as scheduled. My surgery was scheduled for noon, but when we checked in at 10am, they were already calling for me from the OR. So with a quick check-in, changing, checking the baby on the doppler, goodbye to Patrick, set up the IV, go over the procedure, talk to the anesthesiologist, joke with Dr. Swaim, and I was wheeled into the OR at 11am! They're NEVER early...LOL! It went terrificly, and apparently Patrick ran into Dr. Mac in the hallway, and he was thoroughly confused as to why I needed a cerclage. Dr. Swaim explained to his shock I'm sure...LOL!!

One of the nurses was explaining my history to another nurse and it cracked me up "She went through years of infertility and miscarriages to finally get her daughter, and now they can't make it stop"...LOL!

Anyway, minimal spotting Tuesday and yesterday, nothing so far today. No Tylenol or anything after, just some napping and a lazy day at home with Larkin yesterday.

I'm still avoiding the maternity clothes, but my pants are starting to ask for mercy so we'll see how long that lasts!

12 Week Visit with Dr. Kirshon

So it was time for our 12 week ultrasound with Dr. Kirshon on Wednesday. I wasn't nervous at all in the days leading up to it, but somehow when I pulled into the parking garage, it all hit me....hard. Unfortunately, Patrick and I had to take separate cars, so I arrived first and had some time to myself.

I think I had truly still been in denial that I was actually going to have another baby, that I was really pregnant, that things could actually work out AGAIN when they had failed so many times. The odds just never seemed in my favor. So as I sat there in the car, feeling like I was going to throw up (and morning sickness has mostly left me this week), I realized how absolutely terrified I was that they were going to tell me that something was wrong, that this one wasn't viable, or that things didn't look good, that there was some sort of horrible defect. After all, this one wasn't conceived in the wonderfully controlled environment that Larkin was. I wasn't faithfully taking my prenatals or extra folic acid, I was playing soccer, tennis, and running, I was drinking full caff Starbucks (which yes, now I know is ok now that they've posted their caffeine content online : ) ), wine, I even had a massage a couple of days before I found out I was pregnant...I did EVERYTHING wrong!

And so in that moment of panic sitting in the car, I bonded with this child. For the first time I realized that I needed this one to be ok. I needed this one to be as strong and amazing as Larkin...but most importantly I realized that I NEEDED this one...

It never fails that Dr. Kirshon gets called to the hospital right before my appt. Even though my appt was at 8:30, he didn't walk in the room until 9:30. Boy was he surprised to see us, but he seemed absolutely giddy, which is saying something for him...LOL!

He gets right down to business. Of course, I start crying when I see this whole baby. I remember thinking that after Larkin's 12 week scan..."I made a whole baby"...well I made a another one. : )

Everything was just perfect...2 arms, 2 legs, great NT measurement (1.2mm), nasal bone present, great heartrate (163 bpm), and boy was this one feisty! Larkin just sat there kicking her leg and hiccuping. This one....would do total flips!! Boy am I in trouble! I hadn't even had any sugar or caffeine that morning!

And then Dr. Kirshon caught us completely off guard! He asked us if we wanted to know the sex! I knew that sex differentiation began right around 11-12weeks, but it's rare to get a good glimpse. Well I guess this one flipping all over caused a great view because Dr. Kirshon said he's 90% sure that we're having another girl!!! He did a couple of closer views, and I could even see the three lines, so I'm pretty darn sure we have another girl in here.

So on that note, from this point forward Tyrone shall be referred to as Lathonya. Funny back story there. Many of you know my real name, but it may amuse you to know that the 2nd choice name for me (picked by my grandmother) was in fact Lathonya....just imagine me with that name...can't do it can you?

I felt bad at first wondering if everyone was counting on me to have a boy. Patrick seemed to care less, he was just so relieved that she was healthy. Financially, it's terrific. All we need is another nursery and everything to go in it, but we have all the clothes, bouncy seat, swing, etc. And I never had a sister, so I'm glad that Larkin will be able to have that. I just hope they like each other...and that they don't hate me too much when they're teenagers.

I cried a little to Patrick and said I was sad because most girls hate their mother at some point in their lives but never seem to go through the same phase with their dad. He said that he thinks all kids go through general "parent hating" phases regardless. But I think it's the fact that my mom and grandma had and still have a horrible relationship. And Mom and I really only became close in the past 4 years...really once I started dealing with all of the infertility and losses. I want something different for my girls...so all I can do is vow to do a better job, right?

I'll try to post the scan pictures sometime this weekend! But for now, I'm feeling better, I'm feeling attached, I let the cat out of the bag at work (which is also helping me to bond, it's so much easier not to have to keep the secret), and I'm even starting to get poochy already!!! Well poochy compared to this time with Larkin at least. We took a picture on Wednesday, so I'll work on posting that, too!!!

Cerclage is still scheduled for Tuesday as long as Hurricane Gustav doesn't rearrange my schedule!

PSA Friday- Vaccinations...

Well it's Friday, so I'm sorry to be so serious, but I thought it was a good time to get this out there.

First, let me say that I am not at all preachy about what I think about vaccinations. I obviously have an opinion (every parent does!), and given my profession, maybe people on the fence would actually care about my opinion, but I rarely offer it unless blatantly asked. I honestly have no idea if any of my friends/acquaintances have decided to forego their child's vaccinations because #1 I'm not nosy like that and #2 it's their choice. However, keeping this in mind, I do feel like it's my responsibility to at least voice where I stand on the issue.

Larkin is 100% compliant with the recommended vaccination schedule, and I plan to keep it that way (barring an illness that would push her a couple of weeks here or there). Now I know some parents like to break it up and not have to deal with their child getting 5 shots in 2 minutes, and I completely understand and respect that. If Larkin had shown any issues beyond the point where we left the exam room, then I certainly would have thought to do the same...but she apparently could care less...LOL!

I won't go into details, but many of you (most of you?) know what I do for a living. Suffice to say that I'm a scientist who happens to specialize in pediatric illness. This makes me privy to some information, but most of what I based my decision on is publicly available information. And again, those of you that know me well also know that I will research the HELL out of anything that I have a question on. So naturally, I did a ton of research on the vaccination/autism issue as the data was being released. Again, you can see where I stand on it.

So now finally, the word has started to get out (and by out, I mean on the nightly news) that maybe we're starting to see some repercussions from the decrease in immunized children. Measles is the latest culprit. I can also tell you that we're seeing A LOT of pertussis (whooping cough)...it's been on the rise for awhile, but something strange is happening now.

Now to sidetrack for a second, I highly recommend that everyone reading this consider getting a pertussis booster themselves. I'm guilty of not remembering to do it after Larkin was born, and now I have to wait until after Tyrone is born. I'm making Patrick and my parents do it. I highly recommend it because our little munchkins are not fully immune until after their 6 month shots, and we can easily have a mild persistent "cough" without ever realizing that we are actually bringing pertussis home. Just something to mention at your next family dr. visit...ok, that's all the preaching I'll do on that one.

Back to the topic at hand...
So here's my issue. Someone doesn't want to vaccinate their kids, and they believe it's their right to protect their children from some harmful effect of the vaccine. But then that child becomes a vessel for these diseases, again, that was their parent's decision, but if that child somehow comes in contact with my 4.5 month old who is on schedule with her vaccines but hasn't acquired full immunity yet...then could my child suffer (and let's be honest possibly die, these diseases are not something to play around with in an infant) based on someone else's decision?

That's what has me riled up today. None of us of childbearing age know what the world was like when these diseases ran rampant, but I'm sure we all have stories from our grandparent's generation. My grandmother lost 2 siblings before they were 5 due to disease...diseases that could be completely prevented due to the wonderful medical advancements called VACCINES!

So I'll just say one more time, I did my research, Larkin is vaccinated. You have to make your own decision, but I hope you take the time to critically analyze every single study out there and make a truly informed decision.

PSA over. ; )

A Day of Firsts: High Roller and Poop Oops!

We managed to switch Larkin to the special formula yesterday without a problem. She did give that furrowed brow look when she first started drinking, but "Mikey" ate the whole thing anyway. She still pooped, but we knew it would take a day or two to work.

Anyway, I headed upstairs to get her in the bath not knowing what was ahead of me. I was running the water to get it to temp, and she was laying on her towel on the floor. She rolled onto her side (which she always does), then rolled back. Then I thought to myself "That little sneak is going to roll over when I'm not looking". So I looked back at her, saw her get on her side again, and then poof, there she went..as if it was so easy she could do it all along (which I'm pretty sure is the case). However, the minute she got on her stomach, she popped up on both hands, picked up that head, hiked up those legs and looked around like "Hmmm, I bet I could get somewhere if I tried"...boy are we in for it! LOL!

So a good 5 minutes after that first, we got another...first tub pooper. LOL! I heard it, I saw it, I picked her up and watched it drain out of the tub. When Patrick walked in, she was still suspended in mid-air. Thank goodness for that Clean Water tub (it drains the entire time so not only does the temperature stay constant, but dirty, in this case very dirty, water runs out).

She seems to be doing better today, so I'm thankful for that!!

The Hot Zone

Ever have one of those weeks....we're having one.

Larkin is sick for the first time...and it's diarrhea...lovely. This started on Friday and after going through several outfits, we called the dr. They said keep her hydrated (supplement with Pedialyte) as long as there was no fever, no worries. Larkin had no clue anything was wrong with her, and she drank the Pedialyte without a problem (I was smart enough to get unflavored so I didn't have to worry about her tasting "sweet" for the first time).

Anyway, I was really looking forward to some rest since I'd had a stressful week and well, I'm pregnant and in the exhausting first trimester, so I was excited for Patrick to help out this weekend. Well of course, he was gone all Friday night for volleyball, and I was exhausted since she was pooping everywhere. Saturday started out a little better until....Patrick started to get sick. Son of a ....

Yep, he was sick and sicker all Saturday night, so this led me to quarantine him on Sunday until we realized it was Larkin that had gotten him sick to begin with. Either way, he was of no use to me Sunday and it was an exhausting weekend to say the least! Then Monday when we thought she was better, she had another blowout diaper at school...all the while I'm getting more and more nauseous. Son of a...

So then I have it, but Patrick has volleyball practice and in-service, so I've got to tough it out and take care of her for 4 hours until he gets home. Somehow I get through it (without puking even!) and Patrick gets her down for the night. Both Larkin and I stayed home yesterday, thankfully I was feeling better by mid-afternoon because of course it was volleyball night again so besides bringing me lunch, we didn't see Patrick all day! Although he did change the 11pm pooper and give her a little Pedialyte while I went to bed.

So this morning, she starts off with a bang, and I call the dr's office when I get to work. Of course there's nothing they can do, but they'd just like to see her to check her out. So he's there with her now...and I'm trying to be good supportive wife/mother (and not dash home and make him think that I don't trust him to handle this on his own) and have faith that he will remember to tell the dr. everything and remember everything the dr. tells him and somehow tell me all of this...all without a voice. Did I forget to tell you that? He lost his voice last night, too...

Ever have one of those weeks....

UPDATE from poop central: Of course ever since I called the dr. she hasn't pooped, but I'm sure that will change this afternoon. They're not concerned about her in the least considering she's in good spirits (she was smiling and talking to the dr.) and doesn't seem to be having weight issues (umm...she's up to 17lbs 2oz...LOL!). They suggested moving her to a soy formula specifically for diarrhea, but she mentioned it was hard to find. Aha! Not when you work in the Med Center : ) 5 bottles currently in my car. So we'll try that for a few days and call on Monday if it hasn't gotten better. I hate hearing "oh, it will just take time"...I like having a plan, so changing the formula makes me happy. : )

Fun Facts about Larkin

So because I was a bad girl and didn't really blog for the last 4 months, you've missed out on my various adventures with Larkin and learning about her as we went along. Here are a few things to know about my favorite chubby monkey!

* She is a GOOD baby...I don't just mean that she's good for us, I mean I've seen other babies, and Larkin is AWESOME! She is truly one of the easiest babies I have ever seen.
* She's a good sleeper, like she was sleeping nice spurts at night by 8 weeks and completely through the night by 10 weeks (in the bassinet in our room). At 3 months, she slept 8pm-6am in her room in her crib every single night! These days she's down for the night by 7am and we're getting her up around 6:30am. We didn't use any book or gimmicks. She would show us she was sleepy, do it once, and then we would do whatever we could to encourage it every night. If she showed she was sleepy at 9, then we would make sure she was down by 9 every night. If she started getting grouchy at 8:30 and was sleeping later in the morning, then we shifted bedtime up an hour. She just followed along, and it was super easy to get her on this schedule!
* She's a bad eater turned good. My only "complaint" with her was that she used to get mad at her bottle (this was from aroung 6 weeks-10 weeks). She would scream in the middle of it, but it wasn't reflux, she wasn't in pain, she didn't want the faster flow nipple, we had no idea why! Thankfully, it was something she grew out of...whew!
* She's learned to scream and is very good at it. She especially likes to scream at her Daddy and then smile!
* She likes to abuse the caterpillar that hangs on the bar of her carseat. It's a chimey one, so I thought for awhile it was the bumps on the road that made it chime...until I caught her manhandling it herself. : )
* She loves the cats...poor Spencer gets a chunk of fur taken out everytime she walks by...but keeps coming back! Tough love...LOL!
* She's not afraid of big dogs...something about a 4 month old looking a Great Dane straight in the eye when they're less than 6 inches away just makes you think this little girl isn't going to be one to mess with in a few years on the playground...LOL!
* She's ACTIVE! Lord knows she was super active in the womb, but that never changed when she was born. I used to call her "fish out of water" when she first came home and would squirm while I change her diaper. At night, she always picks up her feet all the way to her head and slams them down on the mattress, making the monitor turn all the way to the red level...LOL! Sometimes she's moving so much you can hardly hold on to her!
* She loves to watch soccer...no really, it makes her happy. When Euro 2008 was on, everytime that goofy little Euro-disco song would play when they cut to commercial, she would giggle...LOL! Plus she really likes to watch the game...and she likes to watch golf and tennis...we're convinced that her favorite color is green!
* She loves to watch other kids. I think this is one of the reasons she enjoys herself so much at daycare. She's completely enamored with other children and immediately starts talking to them like they understand her...LOL!
* She LOVES the water. Bathtime has always been easy, never a cry, but now she's learned to splash, so I'm sure we'll have crying when she doesn't want to get out soon!!
* No one can make her laugh like her daddy. I can make her laugh, but when he gets her going...it makes me cry it's so wonderful.
* The word "chicken" is the single funniest word in the English language to her.
* She loves her room. You don't know how many times I've started crying because I hear her babbling in the morning and look at the monitor to see her staring up and having the conversation with her dragonflies. I worked so hard on that room that it just makes me so happy to see her enjoy it.

OK, I could go on and on forever, but I think that's enough for now!!